yeh.... yeh

yeah, i knmow.. ive been busy tho


ive joined a karate class, but not any general karate, im participating in Tang Soo Do... look it up

also!

ive moved, i have packed up and left the shit hole that is eagle's landing appartments. my new place is still a crap hole, but i am living in it by myself with just me and my rabbit. which i feel bad thta she doesnt have another animal in general to play with and i went to pet co. the other day and they still have the same three rabbits they cant find good homes for, unfortunately, my mother said "NO!!" to me getting another pet untill i am able to get a job with some income of my own.

my new bathroom is SO MUCH FAIL!!!! i really miss the bathroom in eagle's landing... and i think that 2 bedrooms and a gigantic living room is too much space for just myself and i would be just as happy in a studio apartment. the sink in the bathroom is so filled with hair and gunk from the previous owner that i cant use the sink because no water will go down the drain, or at least it takes several hours for a few ounces of water to "go away"

OMFG side note: im sitting in the karate dojo using their internet and just now someone in the office just had a M. Jackson "Thriller" ring tone.....

where was i ?

oh yeh.. for some reason at my new apartment they are super stupid about parking and for some reason they dont trust you to put a sticker on your own car window.

the maintenance man must have down syndrome or something because it fails his to realize that i NEED my shower fixed soon, i swear if i have to call the plumber myself i am NOT going to have to pay the bill....when you pull the tab to turn the bath into the shower, the plastic plug is broken or something and all of the water still comes out the bottom and goes straight down the drain; i will not be taking long showers....they need to hurry up and fix this shit cuz i am not happy, and i will not have this... if it is not fixed by the time i get home, i WILL have a fit tomorrow...

UPDATE: they managed to fix the shower the next day and i have been having problems with the internet (posting my blog at via the internet at the dojo)

ive been doing ok with the karate, my form and everything is excellent, but i am having problems with putting force behind the punches/kicks; im not an agressive (physically) person so its hard for me to acually get behind the punches.

long story short

working on various projects

havent felt like doing any blogs recently.

among my projects in motion are

a podcast
a movie
poetry
art
working out

here is the song of the day

Free Cat (ONE-TWO POETRY IN ACTION)

"omg, i must blog about these discoveries."
" gossip on the latest happenings across canna diel.
" ahh ok."
"drama bullshit i wish i had never been a part of, im not currently, not really, but i peeked into the enemy territory and im the cat curiosity killed, for only negative thoughts consume me at this point in time. "

"i better not be a negative thought"

"no, no... your the Searing Light: the carbuncle lighting my path to salvation and happyness"

(from an actual conversation)

This poety is about a real situation, about real people i tried to escape, but as i have yet to learn, many countless times over and over. there is no escaping your past, you must accept all the good and the bad, and remember what "WAS" for what "IT WAS" for you live out each moment and shouldnt let things tarnish the looking glasses with which you look upon the past with.

IN other news:

on the other side of the universe: bombs exploded, storms collided... books were thrown... people got upset, and then drunk and or high.... i dont think... its helpful, useful,or beneficial in any way to ... well.... its like a suicider.. if your going to do it... just fucking kill yourself... dont drag it out for 3 hours...its sad,dont get me wrong seeing a friend leave IS SAD... however trying to drum up sorrow for yourself only makes you look desperate for attention and well.. lets stop there...


That is all i have to say about that

Creative constapation

since nothing is everything now that i have nothing to do and nowhere to be in general, and just waiting for the summer to end. im going to do some writting and music creating as well as attempting to get exercise. here is my 2nd poem of the season. its a simple poem, 2 words per line & 3 syllabuls...it was harder than it looks.


Creative Constapation:

No Outlet

My Cerveau

Bubbling Up

Down Inside

Gurgling In

To Nothing

Cannot Do



Here is the song of the day:

Better, Faster, Stronger

did i ever mention i dont run ?

its because i dont....

SO i started running, this phenomenon started at 3 AM 2 days ago, i dont sweat either, guess breaking two "nevers" in one day is a great feat.

running is not fun, im not accustomed to it, but it will help me get in better shape.

from the looks of it, my job situation wont happen this summer, despite my efforts.

if i cant make money this summer, im going to not be lazy, my ass will be running and working out every day to get into better shape. my running extent is just barely from the drive of eagle's landing to the stop light by southern pines.

Here is the song of the day!

3 bean stew

so ive been working out like crazy (and even taken some before pictures that wont see the light of day) and ive also been sleeping like crazy about 12 hours a day for the past week and still being crazy tired all day. turns out im missing a lot of protein needed to build and maintain muscle. i actually lost about 4-6 pounds. so on thursday i went and raided my fridge and ate all the remaining turkey and cooked and chocked down 5 hard boiled eggs. then i realized that there is a lot of cholesterol so the remaining 7 eggs were eaten with the yellow removed... AKA no cholesterol... im so glad im getting a protein shake mix on monday as well as my car fixed and getting to borrow my dad's (really nice) truck while my car is in the shop and he is gone off to canada bear hunting!



so i finally changed my desktop background, and this is the image.... the guy on the far right in the background is cloud, an amzingly cute and wonderful guy who i am in love with.... id love to meet him one day, i heard he is really nice to his fans....



and this is the new segment in my blog where i post a song chosen from random on my ipod

HISTORY

Real update coming soon! i didnt forget about you guys !!!!

Until then: Enjoy this unreleased version of the song history by madonna...
(dont diss it before you hear it, its a positive song with a good sound)

I run on 11

So this past few weeks i havent updated.... this is for many reasons.
tho its ture ive been busy, i have failed to come up with the energy to post not even a 5 min update.

Pokémon: i have been going to pokémon league (trading card game) for the past several weeks, and even tho there are tons of little snots running around, there is one kid in particular (Anthony) who is really smart and for the most part not spastic, he has decent cards (mine are better muhahaha) there is one girl in 8th grade who is mostly together, and the gym leader Cody is pretty chill... i like his sence of humor and how he handles the super little kids.

Working out: i called my friend up randomly on the spurr of the moment, cuz i had been spending a lot more time with him doing pokémon league and just in general hanging out. he is one of the coolest persons i know: he is brutally honest and i know i can tell him anything and he will give me his honest opinion. ive been working out with him and he has been pushing me hard to to better and ive been pushing him hard too. i got the weights from my dad so our collection to work with just about doubled. im not really wokring out so i can get big and muscly (tho it would be nice to have some curves that arent inverted and that you couldnt see eyery bone in my body). i have been over at tony's house a lot and last week i KILLED my arms so bad i couldnt move them until tuesday (almost a week). and last night in dynamis i am pretty sure i fell asleep in the middle of the run cuz soemone bought my glass and i got kicked out and i dont even remember shutting the game down. usually i have a vague memory of doing something, but i have absolutly no recollection at all....

Living: i signed my lease for next year and im exited, i get a 2 bedroom place all to myself for only 400 dollars a month. im so excited, tho i might be homeless for a day or two....

IN OTHER NEWS: im so addicted comepletly to the new item augmenting system. i augmented 2 items so far, and tho its not super duper good of bonuses, i like that they are unique.

i have managed to snag 3 pieces of puppetmaster relic armor so far from no one having secured the lot for them.... i cant believe my good luck. on top of that we killed the Dynamis Lord and we found a really rarepiece of ninja armor!

here is what we found:

This is an AMAZING piece for ninja: there is a 33% chance that the ninja spells wont use up the items needed to cast it....



these pieces in general are super amazing for Puppetmaster... there is a huge lack of armor that gives STR VIT and Accuracy to the puppetmaster and in general nothing special for the puppet... these fix that lack very nicely. Obtaining these pieces (along with seeing Xue in action) has re0ignighted my passion for PUP and im going to work on augmenting and getting super good armor for it!

tings and choses

tried working on song lyrics to post here, but i didnt like anything i came up with.

working on my screenplay also, its going very slowly. i hope madame krug isnt in a pissy mood tomorrow, im getting annoyed at this point. love the woman, but i dont really like how she is angry at everyone including me, when i still do my homework.

on the other hand, i am getting married to dominaria soon, i have no idea when the wedding is exactly, but you are all invited if you want to come over and watch it.

wokring on corsair is expensive, and im trying to get things done with dom, he needs help with a lot of stuff...

today in dr seaman's class i decided last minute to review their work and instead of turning it in. gave them extra time to make it better.

im really excited, i got elected french club president, i know i wont be as effective in turinging out as much money as the previous president, but my mainobjectiv is to get people back into the club and make it fun and just have a general good time and have people equate "french = fun"

that guy in my last post: well him - im over... he wouldnt be able to give me the time of day since he is swooning over someone else and will basically reject all others, so i will move on.

which reminds me: anyone know a place online that sells cute/sexy mens underware ?

Deeper and Deeper

So i know ive not been updating for a long time. its been over a week i believe. Ive been swooning over this one guy and he is absolutly adorable. Other than a tattoo on his back he doesnt like needles and piercings! (BONUS) he is slightly shorter than me, and since im 6'2" and dont trust anyone taller than me thats a good thing, not to mention im a sucker for blue eyes they make me melt. he has a great attitude towards things, and i would really like to get to know him better, and find out more about him. His friend is doing somespywork for me, really hate waiting. especially on these kinds of things. i really just want to go up to him and say "hey, you.. me.. movies.. lets go.." hit him over the head and drag him around.. but the caveman approach is counterproductive in this situation. the only bad thing right off the bat i can find wrong with him is that he is freshman, but i didnt think he was. i honestly thought he was a junior or something.

since german club when i drove him home and purposly had lady ga ga's love game playing in the car, certain songs have been more hmm... OOMPF and spunk when i listen to them... (lovegame was intentional for subliminal messages)

Deeper and Deeper is a wonderful song that im listening to while bloging, today it applies to me because the more i find out the more i know the more im liking this guy. i hope it wont end badly, before its given a chance...



Im finding humor and love in more and more things... or it could be the pills....

Book Learnin'

Today was fun: even though i had to wake up an hour earlier than i normally do. it was worth it since my mom and dad came and spent time with me after i recieved the award for excellence in french. It was nice, saw a lot of people i havent seen in a while.

i didnt recieve a plaque, but thats ok... Krug/Seaman/Carton chipped in and got me some nifty media in french that would be more usefull.. i got the movie "Paris, Je t'aime" "Persepolis" and a CD of Carton and his wife - which is very weirdhearing him sing instead of yelling at us about not doing homework....

Afterwards i got to eat brunch with my folks at the IHOP. there was a SUPER cute waiter boy waiting the table next to us... i tried not to stare

after we went to look at some places, we got prices. i got my heart set on the unfurnished no cable no internet 2 bedroom house-style of staduim walk (or watever the hell its called)

after that, i spent time with lola... i think she is warming up to me

later on we had a bust with dynamis- qufim... we lost to the golem and a lot of people ran into things they shouldnt have and upset a lot of angry orcs... i managed to grab a pair of scholarly pants.... now im off to terrigan to try to break this durn katana..... i hope i break it soon.....

If anyone who has an ear, let them hear...

this week has been a great break from everything, especially other people. i very much enjoyed having the whole appartment to myself. i got to sing and dance and hoop and holler all i wanted.... this week was nice and warm and i very much enjoyed riding around with the windows open, its been a long winter.
i did my clothes cleaning and i ended up with a pile of shirts up to my waist and i cleaned the rabbit mess (torn up cardboard) from under my bed. did the dishes, went shopping at midnight. clipped lola's nails and got to watch charlie and the chocolate facotry.

got to eat out with tony the other night, his birthday is thursday (he is adorable)

woulld have liked to have breakfast with yet and paddie, but yet never replied to my question "WHEN IS BREAKFAST?!"

Tabby and Kyle are back, and im not ready to stop singing loud, so they will have to deal.. i have till sunday night....


Today i went to meet my new psycologist, and he is gay so i think this will be a good expecience, because he gets "things" other (OLD PEOPLE) might not.... im so glad i didnt stick with that old moldy guy i met last week....

which brings me to a side rant.... people with down/severe retardation and physical deformities... the parents should have the option for genetic fetal screening and be able to abort the fetus if its going to have these problems. im not by any circumstance saying it should be mandatory, but people should have the option to mercy kill their child before it has problems.
i feel this way because, last week i saw this severly retard child who was moaning and screaming a lot. this kid was indian and i dont know about theindian culture, but this grandma was letting this child slobber and scream all over the couch, the couches there were already old, so i didnt want to sit on them....

Today i encountered this man/woman person who had REVERSED JOINTS INT HIS FINGERS!!! omfg these people scare the ever living shit out of me... you know the kind in the special wheelechair and so fat and lop sided they dont sit up straight in them....

art

the other night, i went over to sawinsboro

now you may be asking.. why drive an hour to go to a town that smaller than statesboro and nothing to do... well

my friend lives there and she has an amazing costume selection, we got our silly hats on and went into town and each month they have gallery openings as well as a mucisal guest from somewhere around the world come in and woo the locals...

there was these lesbians there who scared me, its ok because i scared her ( i was dressed oddly[understatement]) and she was high...

the band we saw is called staphanie's id. they are on iTunes and they have a myspace... they are very mellow and nothing like what i normally listen to.

Pokerface~

SO on monday, a lot of things happened. i got cor to like 17-ish which is fun cuz im learning how to be a drunk gambling pirate.

Me and my lovely assistant Shayla performed a magic trick called "getting stuck in the elevator"

The elevator was making weird sounds, going up slightly and dropping a little, it did this about 8 times. it was a little freaky, and i knew if it did fall.. we'd only fall like 20 feet, we were only going from the first floor to the second.

Our lazy asses are taking the stairs next time

she was more worried about dropping to our death, where as i was worried about not getting to class on time, i was trying to calm her, but nothing i did seemed to help. its amusing to talk about after the fact. i TRY not to get scared, because like it told her, "when you remain calm you can think clearly so you can easily navigate through tough and intense situation" my mom always told me i handle emergencies unusually well.

when my brother and i were tiny tiny little buggers, he split his head open and there was blood everwhere, like i mean her shit was covered and she was in hysterics, at the emergency room, i was like "mom it'll be ok, calm down"

When i took rocco to get nuddered, i got lost at 6 AM on some REALLY backwoods road and was so far out in the middle of nowhere it wasnt funny... the only good side was that i got to see the sky befire the sun was rising (i was headed east) and i got to listen to the radio.

later on i got a call from the doctor, it turns out that Rocco is a girl!
so i think i might want to rename her, the main names are "Amphau" and "Lola"
Lola, Partially after this french song
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ueR80eHPLTc

Bunny-Face isnt feeling well, so i spent the most of the day watching over her, and making sure she is eatting something, she is peeing so thats a good sign....

Stacked against me

i recieved a call from my mom, she might be overly cautious, but she needs me and my brother to get a job to start pulling in some money. My dad might get laid off, and im really upset and disturbed about it. I am really depressed at the moment about it. I consulted my cards, and they confirmed what i had forseen already somewhat. Basically they told me, i cannot do anything but see what happens and that boredom and depression lie in the future along with withdrawl from the situation. I really feel bad when im forced to realize how bad things really are in the world. i just hope and ignore things and spend like i normally would, in hopes that by setting an example people and the economy will turn around.

it seems thats not going to happen.


I called my dad and asked him what exactly was going on, and he said on his last project for work he went into the red big time because he didnt pay enough attention and there isnt another project currently for his department and there was an announcement that a shit ton of people were going to get laid off. they put a lot of effort and time in my dad, sending him to leadership things, overseas to israel to negotiate stuff, and he has been working there for a slong as i can remember, so for every reason they COULD let him go, there is another as to why they COULD keep him...


i guess the agenda for this weekend is

get my phone fixed
write thank you cards
find a job

i wish i could turn to stone, and freeze time so that things couldnt get worse.

I sit here, not wanting to do ANYTHING - i hate waiting for unknown answers....

staring at the cards i feel a different sense of their meaning. I think that things will end up where they have begun. the 4 of cups is a girl sitting under a tree. i think this does symbolise withdrawl, but i get a feeling of peace and tranquility from it. not depression and sadness. The Ace of cups is the center of the cross which is a great emotional source with fire (wands) above and on it. Intense passion and energy.
I'm still learning my cards and what they mean to me. my spiritual healer told me that the cards give a personal emaning, and cannot be truely disciphered by a book or guide.

Sad Kitten Eyes

So yesterday, i went to Galatic to go play cards and hang out, since i havent been able to do that since forever because of my having to make up all those exams and having really hard classes. 

It turns out my set up of cards was terrible, and Rikki donated  several cards and i managed to get a hold of a second shaymin card, unfortunately i ended up trading it for a set o roserades and roselia's. if i manage to scrape enough money together to get another platinum deck, i will have a second shaymin and another beautifly to round out my deck and it will work really really well... also another night maintenance would be wonderful also since shaymin is a basic...

as i was hangingout with people, i looked over to notice this HUGE guy, he must of been over 300 pounds, and as Keith would say, he is a marshmellow pig. next to him is his daughter. this girl is really small, very pale, blond, thick glasses; i didnt see their whole interaction but i'm pretty dure he was ignoring her for the most part while she sat there not doing anything. i was so angry at that marshmellow pig, i really wanted to say something, because she looked so sad and ignored by her dad while they sat there from 6 to 8. i wanted to put him in his place but embarassing the dad and calling him out infront of the kid (and her being such a young age is not the thing to do)

after galatic closed, there was the SADDEST kitten who just randomly appeared infront of the store. the owner of the store was trying to find a home for it, and no one was able to take it. it was meowing the saddest meow ive ever seen and giving me those helpless eyes that crushed my heart. 

later on, me and shayla went over to yetmon and laddipo's house and we hung out and laughed and were crazy till the wee hours of the mornin.

Little girls and kittens and other defenseless creatures pull at my heart strings, i sometimes feel like im supposed to be a guardian of the weak. with a lance and shield and angel wings. i think that is where my character sailor ichi-moon comes from.

Fail

So yesterday, there was no classes at all so i hung around not doing much, i did manage to make a fair amount of money, but it was spent on ninja tools. 

So later on i had to go to german club because i had missed too many classes with Dr. Johnson. There was this cute guy there, of course i was dressed crappily because i didnt expect to see anyone or actually interact with anyone when i left the house. But i sat there and tried to follow chemda's advice and stare at him 2 seconds too long to try to get someone's attention, but i was unsucessful because i think he might have been looking at me when i was not looking at him and vice versa.  i told jessica she had free reign on whatever she wanted to say and however she wanted to handle the situation. i have fear.... she seemed overly excited about it. 

later on in limbus, i was so excited at the event i completely i had the wrong sub job... and my mijin gakure timer wasnt ready when we needed it. 

I dont love you

today was weird, i really should get out of bed on time, but i have no idea whats keeping me in bed. i missed german class again, i should feel bad, but i dont... i feel bad that i dont feel bad.

after going to set up an appointment with krug for wednesday morning, i ran into carton... he ambushed me. i wanted to tell him several things, but all i could get out was that i didnt have time to do the stuff required and wouldnt be able to finish it and decided not to finish it. 

i dont know if its been all of these things that have occurred in my life this past year and some deeper issue as a result of those things, but i find myself becoming more selfish and apathetic everyday. it really is becomming harder and harder for me to care about other people in a deep and meaningful way. i try because i should care about people, and i cant expect people who are capable of caring about other people to care about me if i dont attempt to give a damn. but deep down i dont, and i dont know if i should feel bad about it, but thats the way i really feel. to sum it up:

i feel bad that i dont care about not caring.

maybe, after all thats happened this past year, maybe i should be a little selfish. Bad things happened to me and i went out of my way often (and still do) went out of my way to help people. 

recently its been feeling like i have been shat on by all of my friends (maybe like 80%) i could call people out on here, but i dont want to pull an Emmy and be like that. maybe thats a source of my apathy.  right at this moment im getting upset about all the people im "angry" about especially the feud..... im upset at him for fucking everything up and forcing a massive unwanted change.

i miss kag

good night

No clever title

im drunk... pre-gameing for tomorrow.... happy birthday me.. 

the three of us put KATG sticker around campus 

happy birthday me!

I had a clever title, but i forgotted it

SO~~~~ instead of normal format of a day by day deal, since its been SO~~~ long since the last update here is the general lowdown

saturday and sunday i spent all my time working on this proposal and it turned out on monday that it was all for nothing so i suck it up and work my ass off on tuesday to get things fixed, but its still no good.  ive talked about it so much with my mom and other various people so i dont feel like i need to repeate it AGAIN here. 

i do find it funny that i actually fell asleep in the middle of a sentance i was writting for Krug's class.... it was about 3AM before i fell asleep...

Friday is my birthday and i have Xarcarbard Dynamis tonight, so hopefull i wont die too much (knock on wood) and i might actually get something. 

i want the new lily allen CD and the rest of the madonna concert DVDs that exist. 

Red and White, and Blue all over

THURSDAY

I got my car back and a new power cord for my computer. 

Later on in limbus we attempted to fight omega, but i think we were trying to do something new, but either way it didnt go over so well....i managed to get a mijin gakure off before he came to rape me as his final vitcim. 

FRIDAY

nothing much happened, spent most of the day in class and talking with french people in french. went and had dinner with Cameron and Hg. Hassan was there also, i think he is taking Vasilly's place in the person i just make fun of and mess around with on purpose. i havent given anyone a hard time and been silly with in a while. 

SATURDAY

spent around 5 hours in the library working on this application for the internship in france. got the lecture outline completed, and wrote a super good letter of introduction. later on i had a good party with Rezz, we killed crabs in kuftal. im refusing colibri until i break the mythic... ill break it solo if i have to and by then ill have some pretty sweet merits on ninja...

Wanted to hang out with justin, but he informed me he wasnt feeling well. he sounded depressed. he then informed me of wha'ha'happem... so i didnt see much of bess or justin at all... i hope they feel better soon

P.S. LAdy GaGa scares me with her fashion, but the songs she puts out are wonderous

NOT AVAILABLE IN ALL COUNTRIES

MONDAY!

Met with my professor, turns out my internship is due next wednesday. Had to start a lot of things and get the wheel moving on a lot of stuff. Spent a long while killing colibri with a bunch of people from the LS and of course Folken had to invite the Feude. Overall it went well, got about 36K xp. The Feude didnt get pissy till the end, i was highly suprised. 

TUESDAY

Nothing happened till the last minute. 

Spent a few hours in a volcano, digging for gold, but didnt find any. Finally figured out where all the good spots were to mine for fish/gold

Was going to chill with Rezz and people and get the last 10K i needed to become level 75.

UNFORTUNATELY!

Rocco decided the power cord to my computer was yummy deliscious. i flipped my shit like never before (not really, but i was super mad) i was so stressed out with having the entire project for my internship coming up + my car is in the shop + now this + i know money isnt coming in so well... also i realized that i still am upset about a lot of things (AKA depressed out my wazoo) and my mom pointed out that i might be repessing things and having it cause me serious anger issues. 

WEDNESDAY

Woke up kate i think i needed the sleep. I called the Board of Education to see if it were possible for me to gain access to a cop of the High School Exit Exam. 

Tomorrow im going to ask the french girl what she wants to hear about to make the planning for the internship more easier. 

Dynamis is weird to get back into after all this time, but hopefully i wont be main healing a bunch of monks for forever and a half. Damn, i joined right when they are going to try to focus on beating the Dynamis Lord ... here we go again... just my luck.. oh well...

one out of four trial runs completed...

Hung Up and Over

SATURDAY

Not much happened, went putt putt and had tons of fun. 

i cannot be trusted with money, i spend it way to much, i dont see how the econmy is failing

Now, i dont usually call people out on being douche bags, well not by name and specifically

this time will be an exception

FEMMI iS A GIANT D-BAG

Along with being a whiny little bitch about being in/not in a relationship with christina

(he isnt but acts like he is) he managed to wake me up after i had passed out black cold after having played circle of death for an hour or two. Hypnotiq is the devil in disguise. 

i dont normally like being woken up, and i wouldnt have minded spending the night on holley's couch. D-Bag woke me up because he is a douche. 

I'm just done with him.

SUNDAY

been so hung over. my voice has been deep and scratchy all day. got to hang out with stephan for a little bit. we made fun of the 80's

barelt got other stuff done....

FUNKY TECHNO REMIX

THURSDAY

All went fine, especially since me and the feud got stuck in the same group, but this proved we can still be professional when needed. i wasnt petty and i didnt refuse to heal him, i was just not to overly excited to keep him alive. The run went good, i nearly shat my pants when i saw the wyrm. it was tits mc gee cold, so again i got nothing much done

FRIDAY

Nothing ever goes how you want it, and things and plans always will get messed up is the lesson for today...

Today was filled with stress....

Forgot to take my 24 hour insulin last night so all day today i had to closely monitor my blood sugar levels. Had to rush to get to the library on time after forgetting items at my house. Lent Bess my car, and after class i needed to run some errands. Unfortunately, its been over due for time for something to break on my car. i was just getting to be comfortable with nothing going wrong. 

The car decided to be greedy and not release the key. so its going to be over 100$ to fix. 

Brandee and i had dinner with my parents and my mom's friend Marsha who she hasnt seen in years ended up having dinner with us. I love her, she is a trip. she is the most energetic and spontainous person i know and i love being around her. i am glad my mom is hanging out with her again. After my 2nd badly needed glass of wine Brandee and i returned home. I managed to stave off the immense sleepyness that comes with me + wine.

Hopefully i'll be level 74 before i pass out.... this morning i missed like 6 invites cuz i fell back asleep for a few hours after i had turned the game on...

Need to find a way to get rocco to the vet on monday at 4...

And a way to get myself some food

Human Nature

TUESDAY

Pretty much how i felt all day.

Trying to put things behind me and move on. Then this song came on my iPod..


Express yourself, Don't repress yourself.
Express yourself, Don't repress yourself.
Express yourself, Don't repress yourself.
Express yourself, Don't repress yourself.

And I'm not sorry [I'm not sorry]
It's human nature [it's human nature]
And I'm not sorry [I'm not sorry]
I'm not your bitch don't hang your shit on me [it's human nature]

You wouldn't let me say the words I longed to say
You didn't want to see life through my eyes
[Express yourself, don't repress yourself]
You tried to shove me back inside your narrow room
And silence me with bitterness and lies
[Express yourself, don't repress yourself]

Did I say something wrong?
Oops, I didn't know I couldn't talk about sex
[I musta been crazy]
Did I stay too long?
Oops, I didn't know I couldn't speak my mind
[What was I thinking]

And I'm not sorry [I'm not sorry]
It's human nature [it's human nature]
And I'm not sorry [I'm not sorry]
I'm not your bitch don't hang your shit on me [it's human nature]

You punished me for telling you my fantasies
I'm breakin' all the rules I didn't make
[Express yourself, don't repress yourself]
You took my words and made a trap for silly fools
You held me down and tried to make me break
[Express yourself, don't repress yourself]

Did I say something true?
Oops, I didn't know I couldn't talk about sex
[I musta been crazy]
Did I have a point of view?
Oops, I didn't know I couldn't talk about you
[What was I thinking]

And I'm not sorry [I'm not sorry]
It's human nature [it's human nature]
And I'm not sorry [I'm not sorry]
I'm not your bitch don't hang your shit on me [it's human nature]

Express yourself, don't repress yourself
Express yourself, don't repress yourself
Express yourself, don't repress yourself
Express yourself, don't repress yourself

Did I say something true?
Oops, I didn't know I couldn't talk about sex
[I musta been crazy]
Did I have a point of view?
Oops, I didn't know I couldn't talk about you
[What was I thinking]

And I'm not sorry [I'm not sorry]
It's human nature [it's human nature]
And I'm not sorry [I'm not sorry]
I'm not your bitch don't hang your shit on me [it's human nature]

[I'm not apologizing]

[Would it sound better if I were a man?]

[You're the one with the problem]

[Why don't you just deal with it]

[Would you like me better if I was?]

[We all feel the same way]

[I have no regrets]

[Just look in the mirror]

[I don't have to justify anything]

[I'm just like you]

[Why should I be?]

[Deal with it]

Then i recieved a disturbing message, after i had finally unwinded from the day. i went into hulk mode (putting it lightly) At the end of the exchange of texts i felt ready to fight; physically and with words. The scene in The Dark Knight where the joker is standing in the road taunting Batman...thats how i felt at the end.. wanting more.. to end this silly feud, the outcome no longer matters, as long as its over.

WEDNESDAY!

After breaking things and smashing objects last night and basically going crazy and putting things out to pasture, i felt oddly at peace. yet i had a sence of impending doom all day. Not much happened..

It was cold as shit so that means i didnt get my beloved morning shower today for fear of my ears freezing and causing great pain. i cant wait till summer. While sitting in my german class at 9 AM looking like a hot mess with a shirt 2 sweaters and a 10 pound leather and wool coat from the GAP as well as my pajamas i managed to squeeze under a pair of jeans, and 3 layers of socks..... its 34 out and i dont handle the cold... plus there is so much humidity here it feels like the artic. Good news is no german class on friday because the class as a whole got over 90% on the test on monday (i got 87%) [its a B, but its not good enough, must do better next time]

tomorrow must be productive because i got nothing done....
Thursday is my favorite guest of KATG.com Patrice's Birthday... i cant REALLY donate, so im going to click on her ads on her site HELLANDHEARTACHES.COM for an hour or two...
this blog's title is a link! so click and help a sistah out!

word.

I SAID GOOD DAY SIR

woke up to a TRIPPLE negative.... "i dont give no fuck no more"

so i replied "ill only accept an apology over the phone"

so my day was shitty all day

german test and my nose was running all throught that and i couldnt concentrate

for my french class i grabbed the wrong bag and ended up with my german notes

bitch of a international studies dumbass class teaher THING gave me a 0 for last weeks work, i think that makes 3 zeros (if only it were money)

it rained as i walked home in the cold

i thought things were looking up but as the theme of the day!::::

my phone rings

"hello!!"

"i didnt call to apologize"

*click*

ooh, i start to shake from anger/adrenaline (i love the rush honestly)

Phone rings again

"Would you like to try again ?"

"i said i am not going to apologize" (i think his tone was angry but trying to remain calm)

"well then ( i cut him off.. im putting my foot down on this one) we have nothing to talk about"

*click*

Dogs that Shoot Bees

SATURDAY

Nothing happened......

i had my friend jo chen over for lunch and then we studied for our german test

when i loged on no one else was on at all till like 9, i hate days like that

SUNDAY

after putting off going to sandy for a whole 3 days just to get four i managed to drag myself there, and make pie dough for my hedgehog pie scheme to make money

i got a short xp party with kinok, he hooked me up (love the guy)

So..................................... the night ended badly

apparently kag is still pms-ing about some other stuff

kinok isnt responding to him and some other stuff, thats their business...

dont get angry with me when i take

like 3-6 min to reply

like you never take forever and a half to reply to me

at least im trying to still talk to you on yahoo

there are other people who are pissing me off tonight, but i already made a post on the forums about that.

seriously

if you would have said "we are doing missions tonight, you dont remember ?"

in a nice way or some other kind of way thats NOT PISSY AS FUCKING HELL!?!?!? i would have been cool with it, and i would have even showed up even though i have stuff i need to do....

they say: you get more bees with honey than vinager

with me, if you use vinager ill send the dogs that bark and shoot bees at you

just something for people to think about

FRIDAY!

CASH MoNEY DAY!!!!!

My refund check (loan money - not free money)

Splurged on lunch (27$)

spent like 52$ for rabbit stuff he needed

needed 2070$ for rent till end of lease

30 for jan + feb FFXI

20 for a dinner to schmooze people

set my standard 75 aside for weekly food

which left me with.... almost no money to buy the concert DVDs i really wanted to get

:P 

Good thing my birthday is soon

Breaking Hearts and Weapons

Today!

When i woke up, my blood sugar was 42, never thought i'd ever have to say that ice cream saved my life...

This morning, i tried to let Rocco hop around, but he was pooping too much ( i went throught a whole box of tissues picking things up) so i decided to let him out after a time when he would have pooped out most of his food, and try again later. This worked greatly....

I decided to hop over to the temple and pick up the last verse needed for WM 9-2, I got into the room very ninja like, after snagging the song lyrics from the circle of dead people i proceeded to massacre the entire temple, breaking my Kodachi of trials in the process....

After my class, i attempted a battle with the monster that is to teach me Blade: Ku.. Sadly, Tellahchan and I did not win, we almost did... He hits hard, and tellah ran out of mp and got aggro by a goblin... For some odd reason, he would interrupt Utsusemi: Ni.. but i got Utsusemi: Ichi up every time without fail....

Got in an arguement with someone~ i think they blacklisted me.. oh well...