Stacked against me

i recieved a call from my mom, she might be overly cautious, but she needs me and my brother to get a job to start pulling in some money. My dad might get laid off, and im really upset and disturbed about it. I am really depressed at the moment about it. I consulted my cards, and they confirmed what i had forseen already somewhat. Basically they told me, i cannot do anything but see what happens and that boredom and depression lie in the future along with withdrawl from the situation. I really feel bad when im forced to realize how bad things really are in the world. i just hope and ignore things and spend like i normally would, in hopes that by setting an example people and the economy will turn around.

it seems thats not going to happen.


I called my dad and asked him what exactly was going on, and he said on his last project for work he went into the red big time because he didnt pay enough attention and there isnt another project currently for his department and there was an announcement that a shit ton of people were going to get laid off. they put a lot of effort and time in my dad, sending him to leadership things, overseas to israel to negotiate stuff, and he has been working there for a slong as i can remember, so for every reason they COULD let him go, there is another as to why they COULD keep him...


i guess the agenda for this weekend is

get my phone fixed
write thank you cards
find a job

i wish i could turn to stone, and freeze time so that things couldnt get worse.

I sit here, not wanting to do ANYTHING - i hate waiting for unknown answers....

staring at the cards i feel a different sense of their meaning. I think that things will end up where they have begun. the 4 of cups is a girl sitting under a tree. i think this does symbolise withdrawl, but i get a feeling of peace and tranquility from it. not depression and sadness. The Ace of cups is the center of the cross which is a great emotional source with fire (wands) above and on it. Intense passion and energy.
I'm still learning my cards and what they mean to me. my spiritual healer told me that the cards give a personal emaning, and cannot be truely disciphered by a book or guide.